I’ve been asked about TeamViewer a lot over the past year, mostly by “drive-by” subs looking for an immediate session to get off.  There are so many things in that scenario that just don’t work for me, but I’m ignoring all that and today will only tackle my personal usage of TeamViewer.

I found a message from last year that I sent in response to someone who held the belief that online financial domination wasn’t possible without TeamViewer.  He seemed appalled that I wasn’t using it. Part of my response:

Teamviewer wasn’t a thing when I first embarked on this side of life and I’ve been gone from the online community for a while.  So coming back, it is like playing catch-up with what’s trending in the world of kink.  I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit lately, because there have been “come rape me on Teamviewer” offers like crazy.  Something was holding me back and I was thinking that maybe I was just being an old-fashioned curmudgeon (because I am sometimes), but that’s not really it.

I don’t like the forced feeling of it.

I’m not interested in forcing someone to give me anything.  I want a man to voluntarily give up some of his money because it makes him satisfied knowing that he’s providing for me or happy that I’ll get to have a little fun.  I want him to push that button to send money,  him to stand in line at the bank to withdraw cash, him to address an envelope with a gift enclosed or (in my wildest fantasies) him to take on a second job, turning over the paycheck.  I want him to think about me every moment that he’s engaged in those activities, knowing how much I cherish his actions and dedication.

For me, TeamViewer just isn’t compatible with my style.  There are also legal concerns involved in using someone’s computer, accounts, or credit card of which an unscrupulous sub can take advantage.  I thought for some time about at least trying TeamViewer just to form a solid (and educated) opinion one way or the other, but reading a few of the horror imagestories from Dommes (men turning the tables, filing legal charges, disputing purchases, etc) made me change my mind.

Do I use TeamViewer? No.

Would I ever? Maybe, possibly, for the right reasons, in the right scenario, and with the right person. And that’s still a big maybe.  (Please don’t contact me to tell me that you are the “right one”.  That’s my call, not yours.)

So for those of you out there using TeamViewer successfully, more power to you!  If it works for you, that’s awesome.  Just don’t turn your nose up at me, because I don’t.  I do things the way I like them and isn’t that kind of the point? 😉


I Find Your Offer Insulting


im begging you with all my heart

i want to go into debt for you

This is just one of the ridiculous requests I’ve gotten lately from broke or delusional boys. Each downtrodden soul weaves a grander tale of woe than the last with their accounts of underemployment, student loan balloon payments, kids in college, and wives with a death-grip on the purse strings and yet each of them still begs me to take their meager offerings. Get a grip on yourself!

Let me be very clear. If you are spending your kid’s college fund on findom, then you are a piece of shit. If you pawn your wife’s wedding ring to feed your clips addiction, then I hope she cuts your dick off. Anyone who approaches me with these ideas certainly hasn’t paid attention to what I say and how I conduct myself. Those are the acts of a spineless coward and I choose to keep better company than that.  Essentially what you are telling me is that I’m not worthy of the hard work and determination it takes to tribute responsibly.goy

“I don’t believe in debt.” That was my response to the request at the beginning of this post. I’ve said it on more than one occasion and I’m sure I’ll say it a great many more. Spending money on financial worship or financial domination is no different than paying to eat out at a restaurant or buying tickets to a concert. This is recreational spending that pleases your Domme or Mistress which in turn increases your own pleasure. However you should not be spending money you don’t actually have on findom (or anything else in life)! That is fiscally irresponsible and, as someone attracted to financial control, I will never condone this type of behavior. With that in mind, my response would have been completely different if the request had been more along the lines of, “I desperately want to serve you financially, but my finances are a mess. Will you work with me to fix it so I have the discretionary funds you deserve?” Now you’re speaking my language. Now you are entering into the world of actual financial domination (assuming you can handle revealing your income, debts, and expenditures and commit to the budget I suggest for you).

Before closing, I also want to address the psychological aspect of “rinsing” and “wallet raping”. Please don’t think that I’m prejudiced against these forms of play, because I’m not. Not knowing how much your lady will take from you or how far over the line she’ll go can be very powerful. Playing with the fear and pushing the boundaries of consensual control are heady things for your Dominatrix as well. BUT, as with all findom activities, you should be starting from a fiscally sound position. That doesn’t mean that you have to earn six figures nor have millions in the bank, it simply means that you aren’t causing irreparable harm to yourself with the amounts that you tribute. Yes, there are some Dommes and subs that see bankruptcy as the ultimate in findom, but not me. I view sacrifice as the ultimate in findom – growing your own food, getting a second job, selling that stupid boat that hasn’t seen water in 3 summers, etc. Bankruptcy is giving up and I’d much prefer a man to sacrifice in order to tribute than to simply run up a debt and then declare bankruptcy. That’s the coward’s way out and you already know I don’t associate with cowards.

The Misnomer “Findom”

dom-i-na-tion (noun): the exercise of control or influence over someone or something, or the state of being so controlled.

I’m a Financial Dominatrix, but I don’t engage in pay-for-play. Ninety percent of you are thinking, “Say what?!”

“Findom” is short for Financial Domination, but these days I see it being used to describe anything but financial domination.

“Hello, Miss.  Will you call me humiliating names on cam?”

“Send a $50 tribute.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Not findom.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this scenario, but I think it is inaccurate to call anything about that financial domination.  This is pay-for-play, pure money rolland simple and if that’s what you enjoy, more power to you.

I will admit that I throw around the findom hashtag just as much as the next woman.  I figure at this point it is a ubiquitous term that at least gets people in the same ballpark as one another.  You and I may have different ideas about how things should progress, but we both know there will be money involved.

Financial Domination, as I use the term, involves control of one’s finances.  Most likely this would mean a budget for living expenses, access to the submissive partner’s accounts, and control over where and how the money is spent.

“My mother’s birthday is next month, may I have $200 for her present?”

“No.  Your retirement planning has been lacking up to this point, so I’m increasing your Roth contributions this month.  Keep your mother’s gift under $125 this year.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

Now that’s my idea of control.  Notice that the reason for the “No” wasn’t to score a bigger tribute for myself?  Yes, I know it’s shocking to some, but my goal is to leave BOTH of us better off at the end of the day.  This time we take care of his future, next time we take care of mine.  Yin and yang.  Push and pull.

I don’t mind when findom is used with regards to “financial worship”.  It is still a bit of a misnomer, but I’m assuming there is some type of Domme/sub hierarchy in any interaction that involves financial worship, spoiling, tributing, etc.  However the difference would be that financial worship is given freely without demand, whereas in financial domination money can be spent as punishment or upon the dominant’s direction.

My personal favorite is financial worship, by far.  Knowing that you have invaded the thoughts of your man so completely (even if only temporarily) that he opened his wallet in praise and admiration, is a beautiful thing.  It creates a Domme high like no other to find surprises in the mailbox or email or bank account.  While he was thinking of you when sending, you are thinking of him when receiving.  Yummy!