I recently posted a congratulatory tweet to announce the winner of a complimentary item on my foot fetish Twitter account (@MissJeansFeet). The primary reason I wanted to make the announcement was that it recently came to my attention the level of unfairness (or is it?) permeating the Financial Domination community. Specifically, I’ve learned of Dommes offering up free or discounted clips to winners who retweet their posts. The only catch is that there are no winners, no free clips, and no discounts. This begs the question: Are the boys victims of an unscrupulous Domme’s practice? Or are they willing pawns in a scheme serving to reinforce their reduced status in the relationship or community?
Another example of the findom deck being stacked against the sub is during dice or wheel games. I’ve heard complaints or suspicions when it seems that the Domme always comes out ahead. This is a relatively easy assessment to make as it involves statistics. No matter
how powerful a Domme may be, she cannot exist outside the laws of probability. So for everyone out there rigging your games of chance, yes, the boys can determine if you are lying.
The allure of a game of chance is just that…the chance, the uncertainty. I think both sides of the coin, the feeling of being trapped when the result is harsh as well as the feeling of relief when the result is mild, are important to the play. Very few people (certainly none that I know) benefit from or can withstand the constant pressure of every single moment being balls-to-the-wall extreme. It is the back and forth, the push and pull that allows us to regroup and prepare for eventual harsher consequences.
Ultimately the poll I ran this weekend ended up declaring that, yes, integrity is important in Findom. However, as always, I question if the results would have been different if I’d run separate polls for D-types vs. s-types. Clearly we all view these matters from a different perspective. To me, this is an issue of integrity and trust. I assume that my trustworthiness matters in all things large and small. To foster this, when I play money or chastity games with boys, I sometimes allow them to spin the wheel or roll the dice. Does this give them the opportunity to cheat? Sure it does! It is for this reason that some Dommes never give their boys the chance. The group think is that men are lying bastards ready to fail at any given opportunity. But I’m a believer that subs are only cheating themselves when they choose to cheat or worm their way out of something. In addition, in my typical Mentor/Mommy/Guide fashion, I strive to cultivate honorable behavior in my boys -to make them the kind of “real men” that we need more of these days. Since my goal for them is to be trustworthy and beyond reproach, how can I be anything short of that myself?
Please keep in mind that I have no problem in producing a hard game wherein the outcome benefits the Domme no matter the results. However, a difficult game is very different from rigged results. A game in which the house has the advantage, so to speak, is acceptable because the sub has consented to the outcome simply by choosing to play. So go ahead a play your chastity game of “Will it be 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 months?”. No matter what, the boy is getting locked up and all participants have agreed to it. But including a get-out-of-jail-free option, but then changing the results should it ever be the winner, is dishonest to me. The only instance in which I can possibly see this as being acceptable is if the sub negotiated that upfront. Rigging results would be reserved exclusively for those types who wish to wallow in their own lowliness, to feel constantly degraded , to be reminded at every turn that they are life’s loser. It’s that promise of something good, only to be snatched away that makes their blood sing. (“But I thought you said nobody could endure that constant harsh treatment?” Ahhh, but in my experience, those types of subs tend to burn hot for a short amount of time then fizzle out until they are ready for the next round of torture or another Domme. It is in this way that they self-regulate that push and pull I mentioned earlier. As with all things, your mileage may vary.)