dom-i-na-tion (noun): the exercise of control or influence over someone or something, or the state of being so controlled.
I’m a Financial Dominatrix, but I don’t engage in pay-for-play. Ninety percent of you are thinking, “Say what?!”
“Findom” is short for Financial Domination, but these days I see it being used to describe anything but financial domination.
“Hello, Miss. Will you call me humiliating names on cam?”
“Send a $50 tribute.”
Not findom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this scenario, but I think it is inaccurate to call anything about that financial domination. This is pay-for-play, pure and simple and if that’s what you enjoy, more power to you.
I will admit that I throw around the findom hashtag just as much as the next woman. I figure at this point it is a ubiquitous term that at least gets people in the same ballpark as one another. You and I may have different ideas about how things should progress, but we both know there will be money involved.
Financial Domination, as I use the term, involves control of one’s finances. Most likely this would mean a budget for living expenses, access to the submissive partner’s accounts, and control over where and how the money is spent.
“My mother’s birthday is next month, may I have $200 for her present?”
“No. Your retirement planning has been lacking up to this point, so I’m increasing your Roth contributions this month. Keep your mother’s gift under $125 this year.”
Now that’s my idea of control. Notice that the reason for the “No” wasn’t to score a bigger tribute for myself? Yes, I know it’s shocking to some, but my goal is to leave BOTH of us better off at the end of the day. This time we take care of his future, next time we take care of mine. Yin and yang. Push and pull.
I don’t mind when findom is used with regards to “financial worship”. It is still a bit of a misnomer, but I’m assuming there is some type of Domme/sub hierarchy in any interaction that involves financial worship, spoiling, tributing, etc. However the difference would be that financial worship is given freely without demand, whereas in financial domination money can be spent as punishment or upon the dominant’s direction.
My personal favorite is financial worship, by far. Knowing that you have invaded the thoughts of your man so completely (even if only temporarily) that he opened his wallet in praise and admiration, is a beautiful thing. It creates a Domme high like no other to find surprises in the mailbox or email or bank account. While he was thinking of you when sending, you are thinking of him when receiving. Yummy!